Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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