I love black thongs
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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