i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just blew my weed a kiss
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize