You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
