Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
