All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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