I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
