i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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