We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
