May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Randomize
