i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize