so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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