i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
