And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Randomize
