are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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