he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
