The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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