guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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