so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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