I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
