I love black thongs
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
