Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
