You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
