4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize