i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
