they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize