I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
