id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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