Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize