why didn't you poke me back
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
