Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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