the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
