i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize