I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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