You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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