it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
