I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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