i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
