you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
