Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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