Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
