so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
