it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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