Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I lost the right to judge tonight
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