maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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