I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
