He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
