I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
