Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize