My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
