you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
