is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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