Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Panties = found
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