I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
