i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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