Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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