So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize