this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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