zippers are such a cool invention
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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