girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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