maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
